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Sixteen Mysteries

by Spider Noises

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1.
Sixteen Mysteries (Single Edit) 04:29
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2.
Brian May or May Not 02:41
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3.
Sixteen Acoustic Mysteries 02:50
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about

Everyone has their sixteen mysteries.

The journey of life is in learning what those mysteries are. Some, you'll never know, and that's because you'll never need to; others you will find out naturally. The key is not to seek out the answers, for the answers will find you. Spider Noises, unfortunately, has not poised himself appropriately to find his answers.

Don't do as the lyrics here suggest. Our narrator is merely stabbing in the dark, throwing shit at the wall and hoping something sticks. This is the type of person who will never find the answers to his sixteen mysteries. He is too busy looking for them to achieve transcendence.

Transcendence can be achieved, as this song accepts, by looking inwards. Self-sampling, if you will. Taking moments from your memory and collapsing them into some kind of neural mush in order to create a dreamscape. It is within this mush that the key to transcendence is located. The song attempts to represent this by being primarily comprised of a long coda. However, life should not be mostly coda. It's basically like you can't wait for life to start ending.

The structure of the song 'Hey Jude' represents Paul McCartney's search for transcendence and therefore his subsequent career. It begins as a beautiful and promising ballad, albeit a nonsensical one, before peaking early and attempting to ride that peak for way too long. There are many more examples of this in music. Those who write long codas enjoy long but deeply unsatisfying careers and do not achieve transcendence.

Spider Noises here attempts to trick fate, by removing most of the coda and releasing this 'single edit'. As if by removing the coda, he will achieve transcendence faster. However, he should be fully aware by now that fate cannot be tricked. The answers to his sixteen mysteries will remain hidden so long as he continues to actively search for them. Also, for the benefit of those wondering, having two versions of a song with a coda does not equate to having some two-sided image - intense popularity and continuous acclaim - like Radiohead, who have never written a long coda per se and seem perfectly happy.

Radiohead are poised to find their answers. Spider Noises is not. The board recommends ignoring this song in favour of Radiohead.

Sincerely,
Derek Floz, Chairman of the Denizens of the Sixteen Mysteries (formerly Bus Stop Cult)

credits

released July 23, 2020

Jack Calvesbert - guitars, synth, tambourine, Tupperware, vocals

Mastered by Lloyd Bolton

Cover photo by Jack Calvesbert

KP2.2

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all rights reserved

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Spider Noises image

Spider Noises Durham, UK

Slithering slowly skyward like a slug up a flagpole.

Photo by Zachary Hinson

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