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Deconstructed House Cat

by Spider Noises

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1.
I can't sleep tonight The moon is looking bright I can almost see it dripping on me In the drawers wither socks And the floor's getting hot Warm moon residue Lands upon everyone Well it's a troubling smell indeed The moon begins to bleed There's moon miasma dripping on me Where the cuffs are rolled up And the cups are old muck Warm moon residue Lands upon everyone
2.
There's a surge of strange headwear Rushing up from Edgeware Postured in the bed's glare Through the windows where the feds stare They come from magic harbours To relegate our barbers They're unlucky but they'd rather See it as a search for karma Devils in the breadcrumbs They've come to suck your thumbs Devil's in the trail Never in the detail With them they carry big brass buckets When they see a door they shut it Throw the contents of the bucket So the door gets blue all up it For the onion chopping locals Percussion drowns out their vocals Others heed not their proposals Merely shower them in opals Devils in the breadcrumbs They've come to suck your thumbs Devil's in the trail Never in the detail Sometimes the devil is good If you can use him you should Headwear as strange as you like Give me your thumb to suck 'Cos they'll have your life And they'll steal your bike Devil's in the trail Never in the detail No one else smells quite like this No one else is so scentless This is not my food to eat Block my nose my scentless sweet
3.
Is it kitsch to consume a bucket of sick? Record's 10 - bet you I can do it in 6 It's a weird skill to have as a party trick The things we do just to get a kick Nothing changes when we're naked. Like a pair of red plastic party cups we're designed to slot together. We're all the same height lying down. Take a urinal cake and use it to sweeten your tea. Piss slushy with a plastic straw. Textural harmony for plastic music. Plastic music for plastic dancers. Plastic dancers for unknown pleasures. You're no Equipment Smith. Weaponised plasticism is wherever the cuffs are rolled up and the cups are old muck. Beware the belated coming of the plastic horsemen of the apocalypse. Sing Hosannah to the King of Kings when Funko Pop Jesus rides again. Do you wanna be recycled? 'Cos I do. I found keys that our locks just don't fit And I knew something was off when we last kissed I could taste in your mouth unfamiliar spit Now I'm just a bucket of sick Careful or I just might deconstruct your world
4.
Sheena An outright believer I told her to sit tight I told her that outright I promised reassurance She promised a long night Soft speak Do ghosts make the loft creak Is a memory alive here? Did a memory die here? Who's the woman with no teeth? Did you see her arrive here? Real talk Did the doors make you lock? Did the walls make you rot? Does the building sound distraught? Do the floorboards make noises? Are you coddled by voices? Sheena They called you a phenom But they're all so unseeing Made you practice your breathing Not that anyone cares Up the old attic stairs It's time We all went to bed With new hopes And new horrors Turned ourselves in What games do you play In your deconstructed games room? What notes are written In your deconstructed study? Do you wipe your shoes On a deconstructed door mat? What cat food do you feed Your deconstructed house cat?
5.
And when you showed me the flower I said, "I've seen that type of flower before" I don't know where I've seen it though Could it be true That I dreamt up the flower when I dreamt up you?
6.
Ticking time bomb Ticking boxes Frozen tube What you got? Chris DeBlue, don't you go to work Workers funnelled Underground Frozen tube While you're down Chris DeBlue, don't you go to work If I were you, I'd stay on my turf Ha ha ha ha ha Scratch the nails right Off your fingers Don't be mad at Someone's wall Chris DeBlue, don't you go to work If I were you, I'd stay on my turf Oh yeah
7.
My heart's in my work I work in a building I live in a building The home's where the heart is La la la la la
8.
Dust Mask 01:25
Up the Bailey, I'm in a dust mask, hard for the wind to hear I remember losing a lot of drugs to the wind down there And a part of my functionality for some river kicks Tried to show my internal flame but all that came out was sick I stopped talking when it occurred to me that they're all still there Turned to let the wind fill my dusk mask I bolted out of there like a bitch
9.
I'm a breathing exercise And i wear a look of soup I'm a subway sandwich board I've got sixteen mysteries I'm a lunge into the deep I'm a council housing scheme I'm a distance from the sea I've got sixteen mysteries I'm sleeping on the deck I'm extending my neck I'm an outstanding chef I've got 12 cigarettes left Without peanuts I am weak Without oxygen I breathe I've got sixteen mysteries I'm a tale of six cities I'm complacent yet pissy I've never thrown up I coined the phrase 'whoops' I've been to the moon I'm here all afternoon I emerged from a pond I'm infinity but not beyond I can photosynthesise I can remove my eyes I've got sixteen mysteries Will you be my seventeenth?

about

Spider Noises Cat Manual (2020 Edition)

Spider Noises Inc. is proud to present the latest edition of our world-renowned Cat Manual. A cat is for life, not just for Christmas, so what better way to own a realistic pet than to build one yourself?

SN-Cats (TM) provide all the love and humour of a real cat without the hassle of your being in command of an actual living creature. SN-Cats (TM) come fully formed or can be purchased in stages, should you wish to build up to the ownership of a full cat in a natural and comfortable way.

Our carefully hand-crafted cat units can also be upgraded to include special features, such as spring-loaded paws or night vision, for a very reasonable price. For GOLD (TM) customers, cats can also be implanted with special brain chips, giving them almost human-like intelligence. Whoever said cats were dumb?

Below is a poem, written especially for this year's manual by one of our SMART Cats:

Elvis Juice, shoot the goose, let me loose
Bronze the pipe, good 'n' ripe, cursive type
Love the night, leave tonight, lock it tight
Fleetwood Mac, Massive Attack, Kerouac
Seasick Steve, Steve Nieve, Martha Reeves
Marlboro Red, garden shed, 'on yer head!'
Britney Spears, Tears for Fears, Richard Gere
Ringo Starr, Ringo Starr, Ringo Starr
Ringo Starr, Ringo Starr, Ringo Starr
Ringo Starr, drive my car, drive my car
Build me up, buttercup, deconstruct

We hope you enjoy this brief promotional literature, and are compelled to pay a visit to one of our centres soon.

- Spider Noises

credits

released June 25, 2020

Jack Calvesbert - acoustic guitar, bowl, flute, glass, maracas, synthesiser, tambourine, Tupperware, vocals

Alfie Whillis - saxophone

Art by Jack Calvesbert

Mastered by Lloyd Bolton

KP2

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Spider Noises Durham, UK

Slithering slowly skyward like a slug up a flagpole.

Photo by Zachary Hinson

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